T H E
V I R G I N I A G A Z E T T E.
OPEN TO ALL PARTIES, BUT INFLUENCED BY NONE.
Williamsburg, Thursday, January 12, 1775.
The First BOOK of the AMERICAN CHRONICLES of the TIMES.
C H A P. I.
1. And behold! when the tidings came to the great city that is afar off, the city that is
in the land of Britain, how the men of Boston, even the Bostonites, had arose, a great
multitude, and destroyed the TEA, the abominable merchandize of the east, and cast it
into the midst of the sea.
2. That the Lord the king waxed exceeding wroth, insomuch that the form of his visage was
changed, and his knees smote one against the other.
3. Then he assembled together the princes, the nobles, the counsellors, the judges, and all
the rulers of the people, even the great Sanhedrim, and when he had told them what things
were come to pass,
4. They smote their breasts and said, these men fear thee not, O king, neither have they
obeyed the voice of our lord the king, nor worshipped the TEA CHEST, which thou hast set
up, whose length was three cubits, and the breadth thereof one cubit and an half.
5. Now therefore make a decree that their harbours be blocked up, and ports shut, that
their merchants may be broke, and their multitudes perish, that there may be no more the
voice of merchandize heard in the land, that their ships that goeth upon the waters, may
be sunk in the depths thereof, and their mariners dwindle away to nought, that their cods
and their oil may stink, and the whale, the great Leviathan, may be no more troubled, for
that they have rebelled against thee.
6. And it came to pass that the king hearkened unto the voice of these sons of Belial.
7. Then arose Mordecai, the Benjamite, who was fourscore and five years old, an aged man
whom the Lord loved, a wise man, a soothsayer, an astrologer, in whom was wisdom from above,
and he said unto the king, I pray thee, O king, let thy servant speak,
8. And the king commanded that he should speak.
9. Then Mordecai spake aloud, in the presence of all the princes, the nobles, the counsellors,
the judges, and all the rulers of the people, and said, O king, live forever.
10. Thy throne, O king, is encompassed about with lies, and thy servants, the Bernardites,
and the Hutchinsonians, are full of deceit, for be it known unto thee, O king, they hide
the truth from thee, and wrongfully accuse the men of Boston, for behold, these letters
in mine hand witnesseth sore against them, O king, if thou art wise, thou wilt understand
11. And there was present one of the king's counsellors, a Jacobite, a vagabond, a
Wedderburnite, and he used foul language, and said unto Mordecai, thou liest, and Mordecai
answered, and said unto him, God will smite thee, thou whited wall, and Mordecai departed
from amongst them.
12. And behold the princes, the Nnobles, the counsellors, the judges, and all the rulers of
the people, cried out vehemently against Mordecai, for they were in fear because of
13. And they besought the king that he would take from Mordecai his post, for he was in
high honour before that time.
14. So they prevailed on the king and he took from Mordecai his post and all that he had,
and Mordecai was persecuted yet more and more, but he bore it patiently, for Job was his
grandfather's great-grandfather; moreover, he knew the times must alter, and the king's
eyes would be opened anon.
15. Now in the seventh month, in the fourteenth day of the month, the lord the king commanded
Thomas, the captain of the Gageites, saying,
16. Chuse thou the valiant men of Britain, by hundreds and by thousands, and get ye together
the ships, even the ships of war, the terror of the nations round about, and make your way
towards the coasts of the Americanites, the land of the Bostonians, that lieth on the other
side of the sea westwards, and cut off all that pisseth against the wall, and utterly destroy
all their cities with fire and with sword, for they have rebelled against me.
17. Howbeit the men of Boston had intelligence thereof, for they kept their spies abroad
from the east to the west, and from the north to the south; and when the tidings came of
these things, they rent their clothes, and fasted, put on sackcloth, and went softly.
18. And the Bostonites, the men of New England, spake unto Jedediah the scribe, that he
would bring the book of the law of their fathers, which the Lord had commanded they
19. Then Jedediah, the priest brought the book of the law before the congregation,
both of men and women that could understand it.
20. And he read therein, in the street that was before the water gate, and in the market
place, and at the entry of the fish gate, and in the Old South, from the morning until the
mid-day, and from the mid-day until the evening.
21. For Jedediah the priest had understanding of the times to know what the Americanites
ought to do, and what they ought not to do, and all his brethren were at his commandment.
22. And the ears of all the people hearkened unto the book of the law, and
entered into a solemn league and covenant, that they would obey the book of the law,
and none other, both the priests and the Levites.
23. And behold when Thomas, the Gageite, was come into the land of the Bostonites, he
threatened them sore, and swore by the life of Pharaoh, insomuch that some of the old
women and children lifted up their voices, and wept exceedingly, with bitter lamentations.
24. And it came to pass that the New Yorkites, the Philadelphites, the Marylandites,
the Virginites, the Carolinites, took pity on their brethren the Bostonites; for there was
like to be a famine in the land.
26. And they got ready their camels and their asses, their mules and their oxen, and laded
them with their meat, their fine wheaten flour, their rice, their corn, their beeves and
their sheep, and their figs and their raisins, and their wine and their oil, and their tobacco
abundantly, and six thousand shekels of silver, and three score talents of gold, and sent them,
by the hands of the Levites, to their brethren, and there was joy in the land.
26. Now this same Thomas, a Heathen, put forth a mock proclamation for the encouragement
27. Then Jedediah the priest and Obediah, and Ezekiel and Jonathan the son of Ebenezer,
stood up and said, men and brethren (the Lord knoweth our hearts, and that we fear the
Lord) ye have seen how this heathen maketh a mock of holy things, and profaneth the God of
our fathers, this man is like unto a Pharisee, he prayeth with his windows open, and a two
edged sword at our throats. Moreover; he defileth the sabbath, in that he traineth his
men on the Lord's day, and have ye not seen with your eyes how he stoppeth the way side,
that the congregation may not pass, and how he putteth the yoke of cannon upon the neck of
the Bostonites, and the people marvelled and said, Fye upon thee, Thomas! fye upon thee,
Thomas! the Lord will avenge himself of such abominations.
28. Now be of good comfort, let us send messengers into all the coasts of our brethren the
Americanites, peradventure they will commune with us, for we be one people, and serve one
God: If so be they hear us, the Lord is on our side; but if they refuse to hearken unto us,
they and we be then slaves to the Gageites, and our substance and all that we have taken
from us, and we be their hewers of wood and drawers of water.
29. And all the people shouted, and said with one voice, send and commune with our brethren.
30. Now it came to pass that their brethren listened unto them, and they sent messengers
backwards and forwards throughout the land, from the east unto the west, and from the north
unto the south, even unto the sea coast of the Georgeites.
31. And they assembled themselves together, in a Congress in the great city of Philadelphia,
in the house of the carpenters, the builders' house, in the land of
Pennsylvania, on the seventh day of the ninth month, with their coaches, their chariots, their
camels, their horsemen and their servants, a great multitude, and they communed together.
32. And behold, while they thus communed, certain Torykites, false prophets and friends to the
Gageites, said, let us distract their counsels, and set at nought their congress, we will cause
a lying spirit to go throughout their land, that the great city of the Bostonites is burned to
the ground, and the inhabitants thereof are slain by the edge of the sword, peradventure they
will return home to inquire after their wives, their little ones, and their sheep and their
oxen, and we be then rewarded by our Lord the king.
33. And the rumour thereof spread abroad throughout all the land, and messengers
were sent day by day.
34. And moreover, that Thomas the Gageite, the captain of the heathen, came by night and stole
away their powder and their implements for war, and to seize their brethren and send them
away captives to Babel, to be tried by the heathen laws, and peradventure hanged for their
35. Then arose Jedediah the priest, and Aminadab, and Obadiah, and Jeremiah, and lifted
up their voices, and spake aloud and said.
36. Fathers, brethren, and the children of our fathers, ye have heard of all the evil that
has been brought upon our city, the city of our forefathers, the New Canaan, the land of
promise, and behold this day it is desolate and no man dwelleth therein.
37. How doth the city remain solitary that was full of people; she is as a widow: she that
was great amongst the nations, and princess among the provinces, is about to be made tributary,
and bow down to the TEA CHEST, the God of the heathen; tell it not in Gath, nor publish it
in the streets of Askalon.
38. Now, therefore, if it seemeth good unto you, and that it proceedeth of the Lord our God,
we will send to and fro unto our brethren that are in all the land of the Americanites (for
with them are priests and Levites in the cities and suburbs thereof) that they may assemble
themselves unto us.
39. And all the congregation answered and said, let us do so, for the thing seemeth good in the
eyes of all the people, for surely they will not be like the Gibeonites of old.
40. And they yet spake unto them and said, now, therefore, we pray ye arise! Every man of you
from sixteen to sixty get up, be strong and valiant, gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O thou
most mighty, are ye not the men, and are ye not the sons of your fathers, that subdued the
41. And the young men gave a great shout and said, yea, verily, we have heard with our ears,
and our fathers have declared unto us, the noble deeds which they did in your days, and in the
old time before us.
42. And Jedediah the priest, and Aminadab, and Obadiah, yet spake once more to the people
and said, moreover, brethren, are ye not valiant men, and sprang from the tribe of the Oliverians,
be not afraid, nor dismayed, the Lord is on our
side, we fight the battles of the Lord, let us drive the heathen out of our land, for they are
but as grasshoppers unto us, and all the congregation gave a mighty shout and said, lead us on;
and Caleb and his brethren, ten men in number, were sent as spies.
43. And they caused messengers to go throughout all the land, from Farmingham to Salem, and
from Salem to Seabrook, and from Seabrook to Plymouth, and from Plymouth to Nantucket,
and from Nantucket to Marblehead, and from Marblehead through Connecticut, and from Connecticut
throughout all the cities, and along the sea coasts, and the borders thereof, and the valiant
men assembled themselves, and marched to the relief of the men of Boston.
44. The captains of hundreds, and the captains of thousands, and all the people, from the least
even to the greatest, came to fight the battles of the Lord.
45. And the tribes of the valiant men from the mountains, and from the country afar back, and as
thou goest down to the sea coast, and they pitched their tents, which were of the skins of
lions, and of bears, and of wolves, and of foxes, and of he goats, and encamped in the valley
46. And these are the names of the tribes, and the number of them that were sealed (that is,
that had sworn by the solemn league and covenant) the least of whom could resist an hundred,
and the greatest a thousand, valiant men of war, and apt for battle, which could handle a
spear and shield, and their faces were like the faces of lions, and whose feet were like the
roes in the mountains in swiftness.
47. Of the tribe of Aminadab and Jedediah the priest, that were sealed, which were reckoned by
their genealogies seventeen thousand and seven hundred and ninety and two, whose staves were
like unto white oak saplings.
48. Of the tribe of Obadiah that were sealed, six thousand and four hundred and seventy
and two, and their sons, and their sons sons, that could handle the strong bow and javelin.
49. Of the tribe of Ezekiel that were sealed, thousand and four hundred and sixty and six,
whose fists were as the hoofs of an elephant, and could beat down the Colossus at Rhodes.
50. Of the tribe of Israel and Jonathan, the sons of Ebenezer, that were sealed, ten
thousand and six hundred and forty and nine, that could sling a stone to a hair's breadth.
51. Of the tribe of Nathan, and Eleazer, and Reuben, and Hezekiah, and Caleb, which were
sealed, forty thousand and three hundred and fourscore and nineteen, five heads of the
houshold of their fathers, all chosen men, and men of valour, from their youth, exceeding
Goliah of Gath in height.
52. Of the tribe of Pelatiah and Zedekiah, which were sealed, five thousand and six hundred
fourscore and one, the least of whom were stronger than Sampson, bold men, and as hard
as a pine knot, five thousand and six hundred fourscore and one.
53. Of the tribe of Zechariah, the sons of Joshua, which were sealed, twenty thousand and
three hundred thirty and one, men of high renown, which have done mighty feats.
54. Now these are the names and the numbers of their tribes.
55. Now it came to pass that when the Gageites beheld them afar off on their way, even
as the sand on the sea shore in number, with their slings, and their darts, and their
crossbows, and their spears, and their javelins, in their hands, that they were
astonished, and fear came upon them, and they said one to another, let us flee to
our own country afar off, for these be not men, but unconquerable Devils.
56. Howbeit, while the Gageites were about to flee, the spies returned and spake to the
Bostonites, as they were on their way (for each man marched a step with a gigantic stride
of three cubits and a half, and a span) and said, behold, brethren, your city, the city
of our forefathers, even the city of our God, is safe, and your brethren, your wives,
and your little ones, your cattle and your sheep are all in health, for the heathen
have not destroyed them.
57. So the rumour ceased, and the people gave a shout, a mighty shout, which was heard
even in the camp of the heathen afar off, and they said who did dare to spread this rumour,
behold! Are there not tar and feathers enough in our land for these disturbers of our quiet?
58. And the men departed every man to his own home, in peace, and the priests returned and
blessed the Lord.
59. Now the rest of the acts of the Gageites, and all that they did, first and last,
and all their abominations, behold will they not be written in the book of the lamentations
of the elders and select men of Boston?
C H A P. II.
1. Now after these things, behold Thomas, sirnamed the Gageite, wrote letters unto the king,
and sent them by the hands of Judas the parasite, saying,
2. The land thou sent us to subdue, is a land that eateth up thy people, for the men we saw
in it are mightier in understanding than we.
3. Moreover they be giants, [men of great stature], and we seemed but as caterpillers in their
sight, they assemble in such multitudes, and come on so fast, that they seem minded to do us
mischief, so maliciously are their hearts set against us.
4. They hold altogether, and keep themselves close, and mark our steps while they seem to lay
wait for us, they roar in the midst of themselves, and set up their banners for tokens.
5. O king, thy servant is in a great strait, the men of New England are stiffnecked and
as stubborn hogs, neither knoweth thy servant what to make of them; they are worse unto me
than all the plagues of Egypt.
6. For they resolve upon resolves, they address, they complain, they protest, they compliment,
they flatter, they sooth, and they threaten to root me up.
7. Now therefore, O king, I pray thee send able counsellors over, that they may advise and
counsel thy servant, lest they circumvent him, and he appear foolish in the eyes of all the
people, for thou knowest, O king, thy servant is no conjurer.
8. Moreover, all my Counsellors have forsaken me, and resigned, and are become like unto
Job's comforters; thy servant knoweth not what to do.
9. For the men of New England are as venomous as the poison of a serpent, even like the
deaf adder that stoppeth her ears, they give good words with their mouths, but curse with
their hearts, they go to and fro in the evening and grin like a dog, and run about through
the city, they slander thy servant, they make a bye-word of him, and grudge him every thing;
yet complain if they be not satisfied.
10. Surely, O king, the spirit of Oliver or the Devil is got in them.
11. Now behold, in the process of time Rehoboam, the king, sent messengers unto Thomas
the Gageite, saying,
12. Make thyself more strong (for if ye be cast down they that trouble us will rejoice at it)
be thou as stubborn as an old boar, harden thine heart, turn thou not to the right hand nor
to the left, regard not thou their resolves, their addresses, their complaints, their protests,
their compliments, their flatteries, their soothings nor their threatenings.
13. But enter thou into them as the Devil entered into the herd of swine, make their
yoke more grievous, my grandfather corrected them with rods, but I will chastise them
with scourges, mine eye shall not spare them, neither will I have pity, but will
recompence their ways upon their heads, that they may be a portion for the Canadians
and the Quebeckites.
14. For have we not heretofore nursed a brood of vipers in our bosom, that in time
will gnaw out even our very vitals?
15. For who is he, what king or what nation shall be able to deliver them out of mine hand?
16. Nevertheless it came to pass about this time, that Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo,
the great king of the half tribe of Chillissquasquadungo nation, the scalpers, whose habitations
are in the uttermost parts of the land, in the mountains, in the forests, in the dens, caverns,
and in the wigwams thereof,
17. And who were famous of old in the land of the Ohio, when the Gageites
fled before them, who were expert in their rifles, in their bows and their arrows,
their knives and their tomahawks, and who could take off the hairy scalp equal to any
French tonsor in the land, heard of the things which were come to pass, and how that the
heathen threatened their brethren the men of New England
18. That he sent runners unto them, and said, fret not thyselves because of the ungodly,
for they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and be withered, even as the green herb.
19. For behold, brethren, we have kindled a fire, and danced around it, and
set with our breech on the ground, and we be ready to paint our faces,
disfigure our brows, and come by the light of the moon and help ye, we will cause your
enemies to flee before ye, like the arrow from the bow, for did not one chase a thousand,
and two put ten thousand to flight?
20. For surely the wild buck knoweth no bounds, the bear laugheth at chains, the tyger will
not be restrained, neither doth the fox regard an hedge, for free we were born and free
we will remain.
21. Why then do the heathen so furiously rage together, and why do the Britons imagine a
22. For lo the kings of the earth are gathered together, from one end thereof to the
other, they stand up, and seem mad, and the rulers take counsel together, against the
Lord and against his people saying,
23. Let us break their charters asunder, and cast away their liberties from them.
24. And the men of New England sent messengers, and presents and thanks to
Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo and their brethren, and said bye and bye, only be
25. Lay your thumbs on the feathers of your arrows, your fingers under the strings,
and your left hands to the bow and stand up.
26. Now the name of Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo's mother is not yet found out.
27. Now Jeremiah, the son of the prophet, gat himself up on high, and climbed on the top
of liberty tree, and sat there from the morning until the evening, and said,
28. Behold, yonder I see a dark cloud like unto a large sheet rise from the North, big with
oppression and desolation, and the four corners thereof are held up by the four great beasts,
Bute, Mansfield, Bernard and Hutchinson,
29. Carrying a large swarm like unto locusts of sycophants, commissioners, duty gatherers,
customhouse officers, searchers, tide waters, placemen and pensioners innumerable.
30. The bastards and spurious breed of noblemen, and the children of harlots, enveloped
in smoke, and big with destruction, and they seem as it were moving on toward the westward
guided by the light of the star wormwood.
31. Moreover, I see Mordecai, the Benjamite, standing ready with his rod to give it the electrical
shock, that it may burst with vengeance on their devoted heads.
32. And I heard a voice say unto Mordecai, son of man, these are the four beasts that imagine
mischief, and devise wicked counsel, in whom is the spirit of the evil one, and who spread
lying reports throughout the land of Britain.
33. And these are the extortioners and collectors of taxes that causeth the kingdom to pass away,
and the glory thereof to vanish.
34. Now Mordecai, the Benjamite, watched them narrowly, and followed them with his eyes
afar off, neither would he let them depart out of his sight.
35. Howbeit the men of Boston waited patiently the event, for they put their trust in the
Lord of Hosts, in the congress, in themselves and in Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo;
for they said, two is better than one, and a fourfold cord is not easily broken.
36. Now it came to pass, while the Gageites abode in the land of the Bostonites, they day
by day committed iniquity; they made great clattering with their sackbutts, their psalteries,
their dulcimers, bands of music, and vain parade.
37. And they drummed with their drums, and piped with their pipes, making mock fights,
and running to and fro like shite pokes on the muddy shore.
38. Moreover by night, they abused the watchmen on duty, and the young men, the children of
Boston by the way side, making mouths at them, calling them Yankeys, shewing their posteriors,
and clapping their hands thereon.
39. And it provoked the young men, and they said unto Aminadab, we cannot bear this, these
seven times they have vexed us, for they gape upon us with their mouths, as it were a
ramping and a roaring lion.
40. Now therefore speak unto Jedediah the priest that he would blow the rams horns and
the conch shells, that we may go and smite the heathen, O, that he would give us leave to
play with them!
41. But Jedediah the priest answered, and said, nay, my sons, let us bear with them yet
seventy and seven times, for behold how good and joyful a thing it is, for brethren to
dwell together in unity.
42. Only be of good courage and strong; pluck up your hearts, dread not nor be afraid,
hold up your heads, and look like young unicorns for they are a nation void of counsel,
neither is there any understanding in them.
43. They shall be rewarded according to their deeds, and according to the wickedness of their
own inventions, they shall be recompensed after the works of their own hands, they shall be paid
that they have deserved, our adversaries shall be clothed with shame, and they shall cover
themselves with their own confusion as with a cloak.
44. And the people said, be it so, and they were made easy.
45. Now it came to pass, when the Gageites had received succour, they prepared to go against
the city, in which were men of valour, and old women and children, and the mothers of
children, and grandmothers the mothers of mothers.
46. And they brought their battering rams, and their cannon whose mouths were of the diameter
of a cubit, and whose throats were like unto open sepulchres, and which bellowed out fire and
smoak and saltpetre and brimstone.
47. And they planted them on the neck of the Bostonites, and they laid siege against it,
and builded a fort and bulwarks, and cast a mount, and set the camp against it, and laid
engines of war against it round about.
48. And their ships, even their mighty ships of war, with their iron tiers, their pride
and their boast, whose masts are of the stately cedars of Lebanon, and the huge pine from
the Norwegian hills, surrounded the coasts round about, so that the ships of the merchants that
came to traffick from the isles afar off, could not enter.
49. And they jested one with another, and made mouths, and squinted with their eyes, and
said, let us cut off the communication between the city and country, and pinch them by
famine, and they will surely give up, and fall a prey into our hands.
50. Now their brethren in the country, in the towns, and in the villages thereof, had divers
town meetings, and they communed amongst themselves, and sent messengers unto their brethren
in the city, and said,
51. Be of good comfort, come thou over to us, thou and thy wives and thy children and thy
substance, and all that thou hast, and fare as we fare until we see what the Lord will do
52. For behold are not our barns full, and are there not wheat and rye and Indian corn and
buckwheat on our threshing floors, why then should ye abide in the city?
53. For if ye tarry, and destruction cometh upon the city, blame us not; we will wash our hands
of you, for ye shall not make a covenant with the heathen for us, for their God is not as our
God, even our enemies being judges.
54. Now the people reasoned one with another, and said, shall we go?
55. Howbeit, the elders of the city said unto them, Wait patiently, let us first send unto
our brethren at the congress, peradventure they will counsel us for our good.
56. And the people said, make haste and send.
57. Now Jedediah the priest, the son of Eliphalet, and Aminadab and Obadiah and Nathan
and Reuben, and Zechariah and Pelatiah, and Caleb, and Ehud the son of Gera, and Phineas
the son of Eleazer, and Othniel, Caleb's younger brother, and Jeremiah and Ezekiel, and
Jonathan the son of Ebenezer,
58. Select men, that were not minded to speak evil of another, no, not even of Thomas their
adversary, stood by the entry of the gate near the threshold of Thomas the Gageite.
59. And it was about the tenth hour of the day, according to the dial of Ahaz, and said,
To be continued occassionally.